With pretty and passionless actors reciting ridiculous dialogue against a lush European backdrop, the CW's Reign is the definition of empty beauty.
At the center of this handsome mess is Mary Stuart (Adelaide Kane), known in history books as Mary, Queen of Scots. After years of living in Scotland, the teen queen travels to France. She is going to live with the royal family there, as she is betrothed to the prince, Francis (Toby Regbo). Once she arrives in France, Mary and her ladies-in-waiting encounter all sorts of mystery and scandal.
Despite the potential to make this a refreshing take on history, seen through the eyes of adolescents, Reign is just not that deep. And it's about as fun as a gold-plated kiddie pool filled with sparkling champagne -- too shallow to swim in and too dirty to drink. But it sure is good-looking.
It can't be denied that Reign is a gorgeous show, and it has a charming soundtrack to boot. The colors pop and the songs soothe. The location? Spectacular. The deep blue ocean and bright green grass captivate with their natural beauty. Unfortunately, Reign offers little else to compliment.
The writing is terrible -- so unrealistic, it's distracting. There are even a couple uses of present-day slang. No one from the 16th Century would joke about "riding" another person. It's not that innuendos didn't exist. This simply was not one of them.
Throughout Reign, this kind of blatant disregard for historical accuracy is taken to ludicrous extremes. For example: Why do all these Scottish and French people have British accents? It's not as if all the actors are from the U.K. Clearly this was an attempt to sound "fancy." It failed.
And while the costumes are lovely, they are laughably ill-suited to the time period. The hair and makeup, too, feel inappropriately modern. It's as if Mary and her friends are forever waiting to go to prom. Just call this Pretty Little Liars: Medieval Edition. You wouldn't be surprised if someone broke out a cellphone and started texting about the latest castle gossip.
The actors do nothing to elevate Reign from the realm of terrible teen dramas. In fact, they actually make things worse. The performances range from painfully average to just plain awful, cementing the show's mediocre fate.
The one exception is Megan Follows as Queen Catherine de' Medici. She is Reign's only sign of life, a sly and spiteful mother with her own agenda. If the series focused on her rather than Mary, it would improve infinitely.
Even more preferable than that scenario would be one in which the whole cast is removed so viewers can just enjoy the music and scenery for an hour.
Surely that would be better than the dreck that Reign currently is.
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